Saturday, 6 December 2008

The Transporter 2 (2005)

The main reason I watched this film was hearing about the awesome sequence where Jason Statham finds out the bad guys have left a bomb underneath his car by glancing at the reflection of a water puddle underneath the automobile. They let him leave and they wait to push the trigger to the explosive device so as “to have a little distance” (that old excuse). Now instead of simply stopping the car and either running away or detaching the bomb by hand, Statham goes for a more direct approach. He has enough time to drive at top speed through a junkyard, spy a crane hanging in the air, launch off a ramp that was conveniently left there, spin the car in the air so that the undercarriage is exposed, let the crane hook the bomb off his car, and revolve the car enough degrees to land safely in time for an explosion to occur in the background. This is the highpoint of the movie and it’s just as ridiculously sublime to watch play out onscreen as to read about it in every review of the film.

The Transporter 2 features the return of Frank Martin (Statham) the SAS soldier turned chauffeur who in this movie has to rescue the annoyingly “cute” son of a Florida couple, the father of which is a politician fighting in the war on drugs (played terribly by Matthew Modine with frosted tips in his hair). The kidnappers are an annoying bunch particularly Kate Nauta, another gamine model that producer Luc Besson tapped to become the next Millia Jocovich, running around in upmarket lingerie shooting off hundreds of rounds using laser-scoped machine guns so that the male fans with subscriptions to FHM magazine can get their rocks off. She’s the one who gets the cheesy bad guy lines like when she’s shoots a poor nurse and a doctor barges in, “What’s the problem here?” “Me,” she says before she caps him. This is also the type of movie where no character can get into a car or open a bottle of beer without an extreme close up of the product’s label. Then you have Statham in the middle of all this who I think is the action movie heir to guys like Charles Bronson and Chuck Norris since he basically has one expression throughout every scene, a stern one that seems to take seriously every ridiculous, logic-defying action sequence he finds himself in the middle of; whether it’s launching a speed-boat onto the back of a yellow school bus or trouncing a roomful of heavies with a fire hose.

At 80 minutes length, this is a thankfully brief B-movie, which is largely forgettable but has enough bullshit moments to make it worthwhile viewing, particularly for Statham fans.


Jrrd said...

Hahaha, that sounds excellent. Statham has totally been poured into the same mold as Bronson and Seagall - dudes who pretty much seem like having to do anything is kind of a pain in the ass. Which makes one wonder, what exactly are all these dudes actually being distracted from doing? I bet it's model trains.

I'm glad the blog has been established T! Great Job. We must have another BS Movie night soon.

tristan said...

Haha, that's a great characterisation of the action movie archetype. I guess it's part of their appeal. That they're always forced into the situation of kicking ass, but they just hunker down and get on with it. Some kind of tribute to a classic American masculine myth or something!

No problem, J. I'll work on the design of it somewhat (mainly the title design) but yeah, it'll be great to have something we can dump all this cinematic bullshit into :)