Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Future Bullshit: 12 Rounds (2009)

Another Bullshit Movie Find of 2008, which I will have to write up here soon, was the John Cena vehicle, The Marine. Cena, who hails from the WWC and is another wrestler to turn action star ala The Rock, resembles Matt Damon but inflated until his neck is the size of a muscular thigh. The Marine was bullshit awesome because it was basically like an action movie from the 1980s with explosion after explosion and Robert Patrick hamming it up nicely.

In Cena's next film he hooks up with action director maestro Renny Harlin (he of Die Hard 2 and Cliffhanger) to make what looks like Die Hard crossed with the Saw movies but with Senator Carcetti from The Wire in the Gary Oldman villain role.




My favourite moment has to be where Carcetti sets up Cena and his humungously fat friend to be trapped in a faulty elevator with the warning that only "one of them will survive." Hmm, will it be the hero or the fat guy, I wonder?

2 comments:

Mitch said...

No way. I like the bit where the house explosion blew Cena back through the air. I haven't seen that style of explosion since the 80's, or Cena's last movie. That's the Cena trademark!

dan said...

I AM UP FOR THIS STUPID SHIT

ALSO THE TRAILER IS BASICALLY THE MOVIE. YOU SEE THE FAT GUY IS GOING TO DIE AND AT THE END CENA SAVES HIS WIFE FROM A HELICOPTER WHILE PRESUMABLY PUNCHING IT SO HARD IT CRASHES